The Sick Girls Dog

So it’s almost blizzard conditions here. Which means my head hurt. It never fails that storms set me off. The downside to this is that I’m at work and I used all my Benadryll on Thanksgiving so I have none to take today since I’m waiting on the doctor to send in a prescription. So here I sit on break with a throbbing head. I took iduprophen but that’s a joke for this headache. I know it wont touch it bit it’s comforting to know I tried something.

These are the times that I wish I never came back to work and was just a lump on a sofa. When my head hurts so bad that I’m tempted to go out to my car in a blizzard to nap during my break just to escape it. I’m 15ft from somewhere that can help me too (I work the front desk for an ER) and can’t get help.

This picture means the world to me. Prior to this picture I was laying on the bathroom floor in some of the worst pain I have ever experienced. My mother and I call them my ‘episodes’. It’s really just my colon being an asshole. I have heard it compared to the pain of childbirth and let me tell you I will have drugs in my system if I ever have kids.

I called my mom over (yes, I am an adult that lives next to my mom) to help me calm down because the asshole doesn’t let up until I am a relaxed noodle. I crawled into bed, laughing from the pain (Google it, it’s a thing people do) and this was minutes after.

I was finally calm enough to start feeling relief and my mom said she had to take a picture. I could have killed her if my guts weren’t revolting. The next morning she showed me this picture.

I never fight my battles alone. I have a loyal dog and a terrorist (that’s a story for a different post) cat that help me every time. Oh, and my mom of course, she’s my rock. My pets never left my side and demanded attention which keeps me from focusing only on the pain.

Pets are amazing and I fully believe that without these two furry best friends of mine I wouldn’t be here today. My tears fall on fur which makes everything a little easier to conquer.

I was a fairly healthy kid. I had ankles that tended to roll often but my health was good. For the first 14ish years of my life the biggest thing I had been through medically was a dog bite.

Then I went to Europe and got some foreign bug… or so the doctors thought for six months. Then I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis. Don’t google it. It’s gross. It pretty much means my body rejects things randomly in the form of diarrhea.

That’s it right…. wrong. The steroids for the first diagnosis started the snowball that became my life in high school. My back constantly hurt which lead to tests which lead to two handfuls of more medical issues that were ‘found’.

I was finally back on my feet when I hit college and then two years in a headache started and didn’t stop. And that’s where we are today, four years later still with a headache.

My mom would be disappointed that I call myself the sick girl. But, that’s how I think of me. I don’t remember the last time I was healthy for any amount of time. People look at me and see my diseases and struggles.

I dream of the day that I don’t have to pack a bunch of medication with me just to run to the store just in case something happened.

I dream of the day that my arms don’t make people think I am a druggy from all the IV attempts.

I dream of the day that when people ask me how I’m doing I don’t have to lie and tell them I am fine.

Many people have it worse than me, I don’t want to sound like an ungrateful brat. I am lucky to have an amazing support system and a good life.